Undiagnosed ADHD in Adults
People who do not receive an ADHD diagnosis as children might have issues with their lives as adults, including problems with their relationships, work and finances. This can lead to feelings of frustration and guilt.
If a person is diagnosed with undiagnosed ADHD they may feel relieved that they now have a reason behind the difficulties they've had to face throughout their lives. They may also experience side effects, for instance:
Relationships
The idea of settling down with a partner for a long time implies that you'll have someone to share your joys and downs. It is crucial to have someone who will help you run your household, look after your children, and provide emotional support. If a couple has both partners have undiagnosed ADHD however, this might not be the case. The spouses who are not ADHD can feel overwhelmed, angry and feel like they are being nagged or micromanaged by their spouse with ADHD. People with ADHD may feel humiliated, unwanted and emasculated as they are constantly reminded of the way they behave in public.
Inattention and forgetfulness in adults with ADHD are often misinterpreted by their loved ones as recklessness or lack of care, which could lead to disagreements and hurt feelings. Couples are also susceptible to lack of communication, with important issues being left unspoken or never addressed at all.
If left untreated, the signs of adult ADHD can impact relationships and work, but more importantly they can result in health issues like depression, substance abuse anxiety, low self-esteem and depression. Roy believes that the government should spend more money on training psychiatrists and ensuring that those with undiagnosed ADHD receive the treatment they require. If they are not treated those suffering from ADHD are at a greater chance of harming others and themselves.
Understanding ADHD in both yourself as well as your partner will assist you to understand how to manage it. Couples that are open, honest, and committed to each will be able to overcome obstacles in their relationship even if both partners have ADHD.
If you do find yourself having issues with your partner try to talk about the issue in a private and calm manner. Choose a time that there are few distractions, and ensure that you keep eye contact throughout your conversation. If you or your friend start to lose focus or apathy, ask them to rephrase what they're saying or ask them to repeat their words to ensure they be able to hear you clearly. It is recommended to tackle these issues as soon as they occur before anger and resentment build up. This gives your partner the chance to make amends in the event that they have not already.
Time Management
The most difficult thing for people who suffer from ADHD is managing their time. They may not be aware of the time it takes to complete a task and are easily distracted, causing them to put off tasks or even not meet deadlines. They might also have issues with excessive spending and find it difficult to keep a budget in check. Additionally, people with ADHD often have difficulty staying focussed, and may be unable to remember important information or details.
Undiagnosed ADHD in adults can lead to problems with relationships and money. Psychologists who don't have the appropriate training might not be able to spot the symptoms of ADHD, and many people do not receive an diagnosis until they reach adulthood. Barbara Keeley believes that the government should make more investments in psychiatrists and training for GPs.
People with undiagnosed ADHD also have difficulty controlling their emotions. They have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the emotions of others. This can lead to issues in relationships. Undiagnosed ADHD patients may experience mood swings and alter their moods quickly regarding the person or subject.
According to Dr Ashok Roy, head of the Royal College of Psychiatrists' intellectual disability faculty, women with undiagnosed ADHD tend to have issues with attention, which can be accompanied by emotional issues and daydreaming while men have more hyperactivity and behavioral issues. He suggests that a correct diagnosis should involve an extensive interview that delves into the patient's personal and emotional history and also includes an interview with an individual from the family who can provide perspective on the child's behavior.
Apart from seeking a diagnosis, those who are not diagnosed with ADHD may try a variety of strategies to manage their time and enhance their organization abilities. These could include using a planner and color-coding reminders, notes to self and daily routines. They can also use a free app like RescueTime that monitors the use of sites and apps to help them analyze what is distracting them and at what times of the day they are most productive.
Memory
For those who have lived with undiagnosed ADHD for their entire lives, memory could be a major issue. People suffering from ADHD can have difficulty with short-term memories and may be unable to remember what they have just learned. They also have issues with working memory which is the comparatively small amount of information that is held in the mind while problem-solving following instructions, or dealing with stress or emotional issues.
As an adult, the demands of work and family require more from a person than they did in the early years of childhood. This increased workload, combined with the symptoms of ADD and ADHD can put a lot of pressure on the ability to keep up. In many cases, this causes delays and disorganization, which can leave tasks unfinished or relegated to the last minute. This can result in an upward spiral of frustration and low self-esteem which can cause an increase in ADHD symptoms.
It is also possible that someone with ADHD might not receive a diagnosis as a child because they might be hiding their symptoms through poor study habits, a lack of organizational skills or excessive fidgeting. This can be especially relevant in the workplace where an individual with ADHD could be viewed as unprofessional or lazy because of their inability to focus.
Adults can also have subtler signs of ADHD than children. For instance, hyperactivity in children is more apparent than it is in adults, who appear hurried or overwhelmed by the demands of their day-to-day lives. Adults who suffer from ADHD should be aware of the subtle signs, such as daydreaming or difficulties in following directions, ignoring important dates, and juggling too many tasks at a time.
try this found that ADHD adults' problems with working memory were due to biological factors that affect the frontal brain lobe, which is responsible for attention and impulse control. The participants who scored higher on a 0-back, 1-back, n-back memory test showed less activity than those who scored better. This is in line with previous studies which have shown a connection between ADHD and a decrease in working memory performance.
Fidgeting
For many people, fidgeting is a normal response to feeling anxious or nervous. Fidgeting is also a method to ease boredom, generate extra energy and improve focus. However, for those who are unable to control the fidgeting, it can become an issue. It is possible to manage your symptoms and take control of your life.
You may have a difficult to sit still or pay attention during classes or meetings. This can be a problem for you and others particularly when you are distracted or disappear into your own thoughts. People might interpret your fidgeting as being inattentive or ignoring them, and you may miss important information. This can impact your career, your performance at work, and even your personal relationships.
Some people who fidget develop BFRBs (Body-Focused Repeated Behaviors) which can cause destructive and harmful habits such as nail biting, hair pulling and dermatillomania. These behaviors are similar, but cause physical harm. These behaviors can be self-destructive, and even life-threatening in a few cases.
The good news is that you can find a way to overcome the fidgeting problems caused by undiagnosed ADHD and BFRBs. There are ways to redirect your attention towards something more productive, such as chewing gum or using fidget spinners. You can also limit the amount of time you fidget, and also find an accountability partner to check in with if you exceed your limit. In addition, you should try to stop your fidgeting and engage in other activities that engage your senses and allow you to stay engaged with the task at present.
If you're unsure if you're ADHD symptoms are impacting your life, it's a great idea to consult an experienced psychotherapist. You can do this from the comfort of your own home by filling out a quick questionnaire and getting matched with a licensed therapist within just 48 hours! Click the button below to find out more.